My take on the Wisconsin primary.

Official Senate pictures of Ted Cruz and Bernie Sanders. 

As you probably know, the Wisconsin primary was yesterday. Ted Cruz and Bernie Sanders won, both by large margins. Cruz got 48% of the vote while Sanders got 56%. Both winners are still far behind in delegates and the front runners both got some delegates as well. It was an historic election where turnout was huge.

I live in Wisconsin and I voted for Trump. Obviously, my guy didn't do to hot, but that was kind of expected. Voting itself was relatively painless except for the fact that it took forever. I was in line for about 20 minutes. I don't know if that is a pickup or not due to the fact that I have only voted at this polling place once before, during the 2014 midterms. It did seem pretty busy, but I got there way early in the morning. I was #293, including absentees, and I got there at about 15 minutes after the polls opened at 7:00 AM. 

I was somewhat surprised at the crowd. I was probably one of the youngest people there, and I am about a month away from being 33. There was probably one or two people that were younger, a couple people my age and the rest were older then 50. Which is surprising to me because I live on a college town. To be fair the college has a different polling place, but I was expected a few younger faces. It was probably too early in the morning I guess. 

As for Wisconsin itself, I saw a lot more people enthusiastic about Bernie Sanders then anyone else. I know a couple of Cruz voters, maybe one person that voted for Clinton, a couple of Trump supporters and nobody who wants Kasich. Diving through town yesterday on my way to the polling place I didn't see a single sign for a presidential candidate, just signs for local elections. From my vantage point enthusiasm for Sanders was through the roof, but my social group is dominated by liberals for some unholy reason, especially considering how conservative I am. 

I'm pretty disappointed with the results. I figured Trump was going to lose Wisconsin. We have too many evangelicals here and with all the Bernie support there wasn't going to be many people crossing over to vote in the GOP race, which would have helped Trump. But I wasn't expecting him to lose the delegate count so badly. He only got 6 out of a 42 possible, which is way less then I expected. I thought he was going to get at least 10, but alas he did not. 

On the other side, I don't know how to feel about Sanders winning. He's got some momentum right now, and I think he might take a few states, but I also don't think he wins the candidacy. Hillary didn't campaign hard here, and she's got advantages going into New York and the other Eastern states. I still think that Sanders is a MUCH better candidate then Clinton, but remember, my goal isn't to have a Democratic president. I want Hillary to be the candidate because she's a weaker one then Sanders is. She'd be a much worse president but she's got a lesser chance of winning. But given how awful the GOP race is right now, it's very possible that the Democrats could win the White House. Again. If that happens, I want Sanders there instead of Clinton.

Some other things to note:

1. Sanders didn't gain much of a lead on Clinton. Though he got 56% of the vote, he only got 11 more delegates then Clinton did. Clinton's got an almost 700 delegate count lead on Sanders right now. That lead shrinks to about 250 without the super delegates, but Sanders needed to catch up more then he did. 

2. Kasich was a total non-factor. Granted he did steal votes, but I think he did it from both Trump and Cruz. He got zero delegates, but 150,000 votes somehow. If all his votes went to Trump then the election may have been different, but you know that some would have gone to Cruz as well. I don't think it really matters either way though. I know I probably live in a bubble but I have no clue who voted for him. I only know one person who said something about him that was good, and most of the people I talked to about Kasich didn't even really know anything about him.

3. Trump got a bloody nose  but I doubt he is going to lose the candidacy. He is going to do very well in New York, and the other eastern states, and I think he is bouncing back from a rough couple of weeks. He's planning on giving some much needed policy speeches and he has toned down the rhetoric a bit. I'm not sure how much it will help, but Trump should recover from this. His margin of error is quite a bit slimmer though... 

4. The chances of a contested convention have gone up. And that also means that the chances of a non-delegate leading candidate being forced onto the American people. If that happens the Republican party is dead. 

5. The Cruz sex scandal did a lot less damage then I thought it would. Indeed, it may have helped him a bit since the allegations were not proven. My reaction to it was to immediately dismiss Cruz as a candidate because the threat of it blowing up between now and November are still too high. Better to go with a guy without that threat. I don't want this to be an October surprise that hands the election to the Democrats. That's my thinking anyways, but I guess Cruz's supporters saw it differently. I think everyone was expecting a follow-up report that either proved or disproved the allegations, but right now it seems to have just devolved into a finger pointing match. Without a smoking gun, my guess is that Cruz's supporters just put their fingers in their ears and hoped the story would go away. I'm still very skeptical that it will...

As for me, I am just glad I voted. My vote didn't mean too much but at least I participated in the electoral process. Though my vote didn't effect the outcome of the race at all, at least it felt good. Me voting for Trump was a gigantic middle finger to the GOP elite for what they have done this election cycle and what they have failed to do since the last time I was in the voting booth. If nothing else, it was a moral victory for me. 

Al-Nusra front fighters shoot down Syrian recon plane.

A Polish SU-22 similar to the one shot down in Syria. Adrian Pingstone

Purported video of the crash. 

The al-Qaeda linked al-Nusra front in Syria has shot down a Syrian SU-22. Reuters. The pilot was able to eject but he was immediately captured by al-Nusra. Syria claims that the pilot was on a reconnaissance mission and was hit by a surface to air missile. The plane was shot down over the Talat al-Iss highland area, south of Aleppo, which was just recently captured by al-Nusra. It is unclear where al-Nusra received the surface to air missiles, as western groups have been reluctant to supply the weapons to any rebel groups for fear of the weapons falling into the wrong hands. 

My Comment:

A note about the above video. These videos tend to not stay up on Youtube for very long, but I posted it anyways. As always, with footage out of Syria, take it with a grain of salt. There is always a chance that this video is from something else, though it does match what I have seen on twitter. Keep in mind though, that it might not be an accurate video.

On to the issue at hand. It is always big news when al-Qaeda linked militants manage to bring down an airplane. In this case it was an antiquated SU-22, if I have correctly identified the plane. Though the SU-22 was a legitimate target, it is always feared that al-Nusra or other militant groups will export these weapons and use them for terrorism. I am sure that al-Qaeda or ISIS would love to use these weapons to shoot down a commercial airliner. So far they haven't been able to, but with the proliferation of these weapons, anything is possible. 

If it wasn't clear, I was talking about MANPADS. These are the missile launchers that can be fired from the shoulder and can hit targets flying up to 20,000 feet, depending on the model. Most commercial airliners fly higher then that, but they are vulnerable on take off and landing. Combat jets, like the SU-22 that was shot down, fly much lower and make better targets. In all truth, my guess is that al-Nusra needs these MANPADS to defend themselves against Syrian and Russian jets and won't use them for terrorism, but if these weapons were to fall into the hands of ISIS then all bets are off. 

I do worry about what happened to this pilot. Though al-Nusra isn't quite as brutal as ISIS, they are still blood thirsty killers. They have executed prisoners before, and there are reports that the pilot was beaten severely when he was captured. I am hoping that they show him some mercy, but I seriously doubt he will receive any. The best case scenario is that they leave him in a cell and let him recover from his wounds. The worst case scenario is little better then what ISIS would do to him, only al-Nusra is much less likely to record it and post it on the internet. 

Almost all of the rebel groups in Syria routinely commit war crimes when it comes to pilots who are shot down. We saw that last year when the Russian pilot was shot down and killed by Turkmen rebels in northern Syria. And there are dozens of videos online showing troops on the ground shooting at parachutes as they descend from the sky. Such attacks are common in the Syrian conflict, and given the circumstances it is almost amazing that the pilot was captured alive. 

It's rather disgusting behavior, but I guess it makes sense in a way. I am in no way condoning what al-Nusra and other groups have done, but I think the desire for revenge is understandable. After all, most of the time these rebel groups can do little to nothing when they are attacked by jets. They mostly just have to take cover and hope that they don't get hit. That feeling of helplessness is what is fueling these war crimes. 

Al-Nusra hasn't made the news much lately but they are still almost as big of a threat as ISIS is. Indeed, they have just launched a new offensive in the Aleppo area, which is where this attack happened. They have taken some territory from the regime and the fear is that if they aren't stopped they will sever the highway to Aleppo. 

If that happens it will be a disaster for the regime and for the people of Aleppo. Which is why so many Syrian and Russian jets are flying in this area. Air power has been the trump card for the regime for most of the war, but if al-Nusra continues to have success in shooting down planes it could counter that advantage. Pilots in the area may be more skittish and commanders may be less willing to deploy assets. Neither of these things bode well for the defenders of Aleppo.

Still, I do think that this offensive will fail in its goals, even if Russian and Syrian jets have to be a bit more careful. The stakes are way too high for the Syrians to fold completely. The problem is that Syria may have to redeploy assets away from their offensive against ISIS in the central part of the country. I mentioned that yesterday in my post about ISIS losing another town, and I might have been proven right already. My hope is that the defenders against al-Nusra won't need much help and that they can push back al-Nusra without taking up resources in the fight against ISIS. 

Syrian forces take another town, Qaryatain, from ISIS and continue their offensive.

Syrian troops near Palmyra. Reuters/SANA

Syrian forces have continued their success in the fight against ISIS, taking back the town of Qaryatain. Reuters. The town quickly after Syrian troops liberated the city of Palmyra from ISIS last week. Both towns were taken back by the regime in an effort to protect the heavily populated western portion of the country. In addition to losing a base that ISIS could use to attack Syrian forces, ISIS also lost control of critical oil and natural gas pipelines as well as critical supply routes. ISIS had been cut off and mostly surrounded. Russia sent in as many as 40 airstrikes to help the Syrians capture the town. Qaryatain had a significant Christian population, but many of the residents were taken hostage by ISIS and brought to Raqqa. Syrian forces are now securing the area and removing mines and booby traps so the towns residents can return. 

My Comment:

Another major victory for the Syrian regime. Not to take away from the victory or anything, but ISIS control over Qaryatain was doomed as soon as the Syrians took back Palmyra. Once that city fell, it was fairly easy to surround the city and force ISIS to quit it. Qarayatain was at the extreme end of a huge salient, and the regime did the smart thing and tried to cut the town off. ISIS troops had to retreat or face being cut off completely. 

The regime taking back Qaryatain was not unexpected. What I am surprised with is the speed in which they were able to do so. Qaryatain fell only a week after the fall of Palmyra. Compared to the glacial pace of things in Iraq, it is almost amazing to see a town fall so fast after the liberation of another city like Palmyra. The last major victory in Iraq was Ramadi, and the Iraqis are having trouble taking back Hit even though ISIS mostly withdrew from central Iraq a while ago. 

Obviously, the Russians are helping this offensive. 40 airstrikes in Qaryatain alone is a major contribution and a large reason why the Syrians are having more luck in fighting ISIS then Iraq is. It's not the only factor, but Russia cares a lot less about inflicting casualties on civilians. This allows them to better target ISIS fighters and in the end it seems to be a better strategy. It may even save lives, as the battles tend to last less long when Russia is involved. The longer the battles take, the more people get killed and wounded. It seems clear to me that having a bit of collateral damage is a preferable outcome then caring so much about civilians that you get your own people killed, along with even more civilians caught in the crossfire. It's better to fight to win instead of tying one hand behind your back like our forces have done.

It will be interesting to see where the Syrian regime goes from here. From what I can see they have a couple of options. First they could head east and take back Dier Ez Zor, which has been an enclave of Syrian territory in a sea of ISIS for a very long time. Taking back a path to the city would make the difficulties in supplying and defending the area mostly disappear. It would also be a huge morale boost to liberate the area which has been under siege for a very, very long time. It would also go a long way towards cutting the link between ISIS forces in Syria and the ones in Iraq. 

Heading north from Palmyra is a much more tempting target. Raqqa, the de-facto capital of ISIS is another possible target, and probably the most symbolic target they could take back. Not only would taking Raqqa back deal a massive blow to ISIS entire government and military, it would also effectively cut ISIS in half. Taking Raqqa would make taking Dier Ez Zor back a lot easier and would cut off the ISIS forces located in the west from the rest of the country and from their bases in Iraq. 

Either prize would be a major victory for the Syrian regime. But can they pull it off? It depends. First they need the cease fire to hold. The main reason that the regime has been able take back these cities and towns is the fact that the Syrian rebels are, for the most part, not fighting the regime anymore. If that changes then this offensive could be over, and the regime could even lose some of the territory that they have lost. It would be a disaster. 

Second, they need to be able to deal with the threat that al-Nusra poses to their rear. Though most rebel groups have stopped fighting, al-Nusra has not and they are opening up a new offensive of their own near Aleppo targeting the highway to the city. If that offensive succeeds, then Aleppo could be cut off and would necessitate the cancellation of the regimes attacks in the center of the country. Al-Nusra has always been a major threat and they haven't been getting nearly as much attention from the Russians and Syrians compared to ISIS. They are a major threat and could complicate things considerably. 

Finally, the regime is racing against the clock. It is only a couple of months until summer hits and summer in Syria means that the fronts will become a lot more static. Fighting in the desert heat has the tendency to stop offensives dead in their tracks. If the regime keeps up the pace they are having right now, they might be able make a lot of progress before summer hits. But if they don't get close to their goals, ISIS will have three more months to prepare for any attacks.  

No matter what though, it is very good to see ISIS getting pushed back in Syria. For a while there last year it looked as though the regime would fall and ISIS would take even more territory then they had already. Russia's contribution to the war and the cease fire has completely changed the momentum against ISIS and it looks as though there is some hope that ISIS will eventually be defeated there. It will be a long, brutal fight, but it seems the tide has finally turned. 

My plan for the Wisconsin presidential primary.

As you may or may not be aware, I live in Wisconsin. Next Tuesday is our primary election. As of right now, I think I know who I am going to vote for. And if you had told me that I would be voting for Donald Trump even a year ago, I would be flabbergasted. I still am utterly shocked myself that I don't have a better option. Right now there are five very deeply flawed candidates for president running, and I have problems with all of them. (I'm ignoring the fact that the Libertarian and Green parties also have candidates because I can't vote for them in this primary even if I wanted too).

When I first started thinking about this election, I had no idea who I was going to vote for. Indeed, I wasn't even sure of which party I was going to vote for in the primary. I am certainly no Democrat. Indeed, if I have a political ideology at all it is "be opposed to the Democrats at all times". But if the Republican candidacy was locked up and there was no point in voting on the Republican ballot, I could cross over to vote for one of the Democrats. Not because I like them but to try to limit the damage to the country by getting the best candidate on the ballot... or the worst. Wisconsin is an open primary after all, and you can vote for whoever you feel like regardless of party.

Indeed, I almost did vote in the Democratic primary back in 2008. For the record, I ended up voting for John McCain, which turned out to be a mistake. As disgusting as it is to admit it, I was going to vote for Hillary Clinton before I made that descion. Now I know I just put out an April Fool's day prank saying that I endorsed her, but don't think for a second I actually wanted her to be president. Instead, I really wanted Barack Obama to NOT be president. Even though I thought, and still think, that Hillary Clinton was (and is) a terrible person that shouldn't be allowed to run for President she still would have done a better job then Barack Obama. Which is damming by faint praise. I also thought she would be much easier to beat then Obama. I think I was right on both counts. Obama surpassed my greatest fears after he was elected, and I was already predicting war, chaos and destruction when he was running.

In this election, had we had a clear winner on the Republican side I would cross over to vote for one of the candidates. I am not sure which one though. I think that Bernie Sanders is hands down the better candidate and would make a better president then Clinton, but I also think that getting shot in the back of the head with a .357 Magnum is a better way to die then cancer. You will die either way, but one is much more pleasant then the other. Though Sanders would be a disaster as president, I think he's a better person then Clinton and is slightly more acceptable for me on the issues.

On the other hand, I think that Bernie Sanders is a lot more electable then Clinton. No matter how terrible the candidates are right now, I still think I want a Republican to win in November, and I think that Clinton is a MUCH weaker candidate then Sanders is. Her ethical problems alone should have disqualified her from running. And her health is failing rapidly and there is a decent chance that she could be arrested before November. As far as I am concerned that's the dream opponent to be facing. In any other year, I think if Clinton is the candidate, she loses in a landslide.

But this is not a normal year. In fact, it is a disaster for both parties. Indeed, when this is all said and done, I am not sure if either party survives in their current forms. The three Republicans that are left, Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and John Kasich, are all deeply flawed candidates and, honestly, I don't know if any of them could win in November. The only reason they have a chance is because Sanders and Clinton are just as bad or even worse then they are!

Let's start with Kasich. The man should not be in the race at this point. He's been mathematically eliminated and stands no chance of winning the election outright. And even in a brokered convention, I don't see him getting the presidential nod. He's just not popular enough. Even after months and months of non-stop election coverage, nobody has heard of him. I don't think anyone has really sat down and thought what I Kasich presidency would be like

I have though, and I haven't liked what I have come up with. Kasich may talk a good game, with his down home gee whiz mannerisms and his friendly, no attacks, campaign style, but his actual policies are pretty much exactly everything that is wrong with the Republican party. He's for amnesty for illegal immigrants, which pretty much no person in the Republican Party outside of the elites wants, and his foreign policy ideas are just horrible. In short, Kasich is just another George Bush, only a slightly more coherent and well spoken one. That's not what I want, especially since I think his anti-Russia rhetoric could cause a major war if he follows through with what he wants to do.

And what about Ted Cruz? I have to say that I agree with Cruz on a lot of things. Even more then I do Donald Trump, I agree with Cruz on the issues. He's the only one that could reign in the NSA and he is pretty outspoken on his support for gun rights. I do dislike how he panders to evangelicals, but there is always going to be some manner of policy differences with the candidate, unless you yourself are running. Indeed, in any other year, if Cruz was the front runner I would probably vote for him, enthusiastically, if I had nothing else to go on.

But I do have something else to go on. Ted Cruz is, simply put, a snake. He's a bad person and he is willing to do anything to win. Sure that's true for any of the candidates, you don't run for president if you aren't at least a little bit of a snake, but Cruz takes it up to the next level.

I first started to turn on Ted Cruz after Iowa. I still believe that he cheated his way to victory there. He had his campaign tell everyone at the caucuses that Ben Carson had dropped out, even though Carson would last much longer in the campaign then just Iowa. Though the outcome of the Iowa caucuses may not have changed all that much, the fact remains that I thought that was sleazy as hell.

There is also the fact that he claims to be an evangelical and respects and cherishes women while at the moment he is involved in a major sex scandal. Sure, the accusations against Cruz have not been substantiated, as of this post, but he also hasn't, to my knowledge, said that they are false. He also hasn't tried to sue the people that wrote the story, which all adds up to a circumstantial case that the allegations are true. I have little in the way of evidence, but my gut says that he's lying about the scandal and at least some of the allegations are true.

Even if those allegations are not true, and it's important to note that I am using my gut and not the evidence, Cruz can hardly claim the high ground when it comes to his treatment of women. In Utah, Cruz's super pac released a photo add that basically called Donald Trump's wife a slut. She's a model, so it's not surprising that she had some suggestive photos out there, but bringing Trump's wife into it was a low blow. Of course, Trump can't claim the high ground here either because he re-tweeted an unflattering photo of Heidi Cruz, so there is plenty of sleaze to go around

But more then anything else, I think that Ted Cruz isn't electable. He's got a very punch-able face, and he's the kind of guy that may be smart but nobody really likes him. I think that Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders will wipe the floor with him, even if his campaign doesn't fall apart from the sex scandals. And I can't possibly vote for a guy that may have to drop out of the race when he hasn't done all that much to disprove the allegations. He hasn't even explicitly denied them as far as I know.

Ted Cruz just isn't someone who can win elections. He doesn't really excite anyone, and I can't see all that many independents and disgruntled Democrats crossing parties to vote for him. And if he doesn't win the delegate count outright, he's going to be replaced by whoever the GOP decides to put in at a brokered convention. I just don't see him winning outright with the delegate math the way it is.

That leaves me with just two choices. Either stay home in disgust or vote for Donald J. Trump. I'm not staying home, I've never believed that apathy is the way to be a good citizen. Trump may be crude, inexperienced and, in some ways, a scoundrel, but I just think the other two Republican candidates are too flawed to ever support at this point. Hell, if Trump drops dead between now and Tuesday, I almost certainly will vote in the Democrat primary for strategic reasons instead of voting for either Cruz or Kasich.

Finally, I felt a deep sense of betrayal from both Cruz and Kasich after the riot in Chicago that shut down a Donald Trump rally. That attack exposed everything wrong the political left in America today. The violence, the casual hatred of anyone who disagrees, and, worst of all, the deep desire to silence political speech. Any candidate I would support would have had to have denounced the actions of the protesters/rioters at that event.

 And too their eternal shame both Cruz and Kasich took the cowards way out. Instead of laying blame on the left who so richly deserved it, they attacked Donald Trump and, much more importantly, his supporters. They blamed the victims of the left while claiming to be opposed to them. This cowardice, more then any other factor, convinced me that I had to vote for Donald Trump. If for no other reason then he is the only person saying that these kinds of attacks are wrong and should stop. Riots and attempts to silence political voices can not become the status quo. No matter what.

I don't think Trump is a great candidate. Indeed, I don't even think he is all that good of one, but I think he has a better chance of winning then Ted Cruz or John Kasich. If he does manage to avoid the brokered convention, the GOP will fall in line, and above all else I want to avoid a brokered convention. Even if Trump isn't the delegate lead at that point, any candidate that isn't the front runner ending up as the candidate would end up losing. And the GOP would probably die in the chaos, and perhaps even violence, that would follow.

I also think that Donald Trump is uniquely qualified to take on Hillary Clinton. His debate style is well suited against her. Clinton's only option has been to play the sexism card. It has worked pretty well against Bernie Sanders, but it won't work against Trump. He will hit her harder then anyone has ever hit her and he will call her and her husband out on their treatment of women. He may be a scoundrel himself, but Donald Trump is the best person out there to hit Hillary Clinton.

Finally, I do agree with a lot of what Donald Trump has to say on foreign policy and immigration. Trump strikes me as someone who would avoid war if possible but do everything in his power to win once we were in one. That means the gloves would be off when it comes to ISIS but he wouldn't pick a fight with Syria, Russia or Iran. I am pretty sure that he is the only candidate that I can say that for.

And I agree with Trump on immigration. I used to be rather in favor open borders, but in the past couple of years some things happened in my life that forever changed my mind on the issue. I really, really, REALLY, can't go into what those things are. But you must believe me when I say that there are reasons to be opposed to further immigration, especially from Islamic countries, that go way beyond the threat of terrorism...

So that's it then. On Tuesday I plan to vote for Donald Trump, barring some kind of disaster. I am a reluctant voter to be sure, but I feel I have no other choice. What will happen in November is anybodies guess, but I think at this point Donald Trump is the best shot America has. As sad as it is, he's the only guy I can support in this primary.

I'm officially endorsing one of the presidential candidates!

Official senate portrait. 

I am officially endorsing Hillary Clinton for president. Nobody else deserves it. Not only is Hillary Clinton the most experienced person in this race by far, she is also the best choice for America! Just look at all her successes! In her dazzling role as first lady, she stood by her amazing husband, Bill Clinton, histories greatest leader! She never stood in the way when her husband helped dozens of women throughout his career. She shares in the glory and the honor of our countries most amazing presidency ever!

Hillary also had a great time as senator. Even though she wasn't originally from New York, and never really lived there, she served her state well! As a matter of fact, she was one of the bravest senators ever! When the time came to vote for the Iraq War, Hillary was in front of the line! So brave! She worked with both Democrats and Republicans to overthrow the brutal dictator, Saddam Hussein, and the Middle East has never been safer! Indeed, our friends in Iraq, love Hillary Clinton, and would vote for her if they could!

As Secretary of State, Mrs. Clinton oversaw the liberation of Libya from brutal dictator Momar Qaddafi, a very mean person indeed! Using very little force, Hillary Clinton kicked out Qaddafi and turned him over to the Libyans, who gave him a fair trial and good treatment. After that, nothing happened in Libya, thanks to our great leader Hillary Clinton. The city of Benghazi is now an awesome tourist spot where ambassadors meet unmolested! What a great president she would be!

Of course we can't forget Hillary Clinton's unwavering support for gun control. She has NEVER flip flopped on this issue and has always said that the 2nd amendment isn't worth the paper it is printed on! She hates baby killing assault rifles that have no place in America. Even handguns and shotguns are too dangerous! I am so glad we have someone like Hillary Clinton to tell us what we should own! Americans are just too dumb to own such murder weapons!

And look how healthy Hillary looks! She is almost 70 but she looks like she could run a marathon while holding a 50 lbs bag of sand! Indeed, the only person that looks more healthy then Hillary Clinton is her husband Bill, who certainly will live for at least 30 more years! I bet she could run up 30 flights of stairs, beat up a dozen ninjas and then do a cartwheel off the roof without even getting winded!

On foreign policy, Hillary is the bees knees! She will show Vladimir Putin who is boss. Everyone knows that the Russian bear will cower when he has to face this granny! Plus there are whole lot of dictators left that we haven't overthrown! Bashar al-Assad is quaking in his boots when he thinks of Hillary Clinton! Indeed, there isn't a dictator in the world who will challenge us with such a strong independent woman in the White House!

What about ISIS? Well, Hillary has a plan for them too! She's going to love them so much that they will lay down their arms and stop chopping peoples heads off! All it will take is just a little tolerance! In the end, our ISIS friends will come to respect all of us and will join us hand in hand in a giant circle of love and friendship while rainbows fill the sky!

But not everyone is tolerant. Indeed, Hillary Clinton is the target of a vast right wing conspiracy against her entire family! Even Chelsea! These vile racists and bigots hate Hillary and spread lies about her, including that she did something with e-mails. Or that Bill might have mistreated a woman once! Such horror!

This cabal of evil doers is lead by the most right wing man of all time, Bernie "Black Lives Splatter" Sanders! Far to the right of Adolf Hitler, Sanders has besmirched the name of all women everywhere because he hates Hillary Clinton. Indeed, even uber-misogynist and racist Donald "make women pay or get out of the way" Trump's attacks pale in comparison to the evil that Bernie Sanders (real name: Baron von babypuncher Hitler the 3rd) has sent Hillary Clinton's way! He hates Clinton so much, he even interrupted her at one of his debates! And his evil bigoted supporters have said mean things on the internet! Unbelievable!

Why do these people hate Hillary Clinton? Because they know that she sticks up for women! And they HATE women! They are all terrible, terrible racist, bigoted misogynist jerks! Why else wouldn't they want her to be president? After all, Granny knows best! They are all just hateful bigots and when Clinton is our next president, they will find out what it means to have the most perfect president ever!

Clearly, there is only one choice for president and that choice is Hillary Clinton. I hope then when the time comes to vote, you will join me and vote for the only choice America deserves to have. Of course if you choose not to vote for Hillary Clinton, you are just a terrible racist, sexist, bigoted monstrosity, and you really shouldn't be allowed to vote! Or live! That's what I truly believe and that's why I am endorsing Hillary Clinton for president!














...this may be the most sarcastic thing I have ever written.